Getting a Woman to Respect You: Transforming Brats into Sexy, Quality Women

One of the most common questions I get from men during dating coaching is “How do I get a woman to respect me?” (aka “How do I get her to stop being such a crazy bitch?”) 😉

Different forms of disrespect include:

  • Demanding that you buy the drinks
  • Cheating or infidelity
  • Verbally abusing you when you don’t do what she says

Any of these sound familiar?

I know there is much material out there written for men, by men, on how to get a woman’s respect. I’ve been hesitant to put my 2-cents in on this issue since I have a different take than most of those guys do.

Of course I do. 😉

This article is about what respect means and how to get it. When a woman respects you, she’ll naturally want to do anything she can to support your life and your life’s deepest purpose. Respect is what transforms a woman from a spoiled brat to someone who is happy and on your side. Respect is what makes women listen to you and follow your lead.

When you can get any woman you want to respect you, not only do you have a wider selection of women to pick from… the woman (or women) you choose transform into better people because they’re with you. This makes your life a Heck of a lot better! There are many relationship problems that would disappear if both parties showed a little more respect for the other person.

Here’s the thing; I have been in total awe of a man. And I don’t mean crushy-puppy-love awe. I mean, I’ve had total, wide-eyed, my man can do anything (and I’d do anything for HIM) respect.

I’ve also felt deep contempt and disrespect for a man. I’ve even felt this way toward the SAME man that I used to hold in such high regard. (And vice-versa. Funny how that works.)

So here is the harsh truth: if you truly want a woman’s respect, you first need to let go of the belief that you *deserve* her respect.

If you congruently felt like you deserved the respect you want, you would already have it. Respect is not deserved; it is earned. If you don’t have it, it’s because you haven’t earned it.

I know that sounds a bit harsh. You may be thinking that if you’re nice and thoughtful toward women, they should respect you. (Especially since so many women date jerks anyway, right?)

There is more to being respected by a woman than being nice (and while those women might date jerks, chances are they don’t have the high amount of respect for them that I’m talking about). To gain her deepest levels of respect you’ll want to be trustworthy, act with integrity and to be living your life’s deepest purpose. I’ll talk more about this in a bit.

I wholeheartedly believe that human beings should have a certain base level of respect for one another. Everyone has basic human rights. However, it’s important to not confuse those basic rights with getting the huge amounts of respect and “I will follow your lead anywhere” kind of trust from your woman.

Unfortunately some people are distrustful. Some people steal and act violently. Some women nag, tear men down and transform them into [insert crack of a whip sound here] – “their bitch.” If you let these people into your lives, they will disrespect you just like they do everyone else.

The best information about someone is their behavior. For example, if a woman tells you she is reliable, but she constantly shows up late or flakes for dates, you know that she is unreliable, despite what she says.

The most important key to getting more respect) is to behave in a way that EARNS it.

As I said before, the most important information about a person is their behavior. So it goes that if a woman sees a man being lazy (not fulfilling his life’s deepest purpose,) she will not respect his ability to work hard. If he constantly breaks promises to her, she will not respect his word.

And she shouldn’t!

The way to get a woman’s respect is to have integrity. Integrity ranges from things as small as cleaning out the car when you say you will to as important as living your life’s deepest purpose.

Living a life of integrity is the most vital thing to getting and keeping a woman’s respect. This is how you’ll fulfill your life’s deepest purpose. Being “on purpose” means that you’re living a life of integrity with yourself. If you have integrity, you’re more likely to only agree to do things that you actually want to do. This will help you keep your word so she can trust you. This trust is what earns her deepest respect. Not what kind of car you drive or how suave you act on your first date. It’s all about trust.

Men who live their lives with integrity are respected. They don’t need to ask for it, and they certainly don’t need to demand it. They simply inspire it from their behavior.


  1. 100% agree, and love this. (Especially how you touched briefly on how you flipped from lack of respect, to total respect, for the same man :D)

    I’d like to add that “inspiring respect by your behaviour” often means making the ‘hard choices’.

    There is a reason very few men do this…

    It means living different, and choosing different. It means making the ‘hard choices’:

    Like “Honey, I love you, but I have for my life, and it honestly does not *feel* like you are co-operating. I have to move on.”


    “Dude, you’ve been my best friend for ages, but right now I’m focused on success and getting my life together, and my girl, and it doesn’t *feel* like you’re supporting me, no matter what you’ve said. I’m gonna take a break for a bit.”


    “I know it’s scary, and I know it looks like I have no plan, but my heart is telling me to quit my job, and not to wait one more second, so I’m doing it.”

    At least, it very often plays out this way, in my experience.


    Here’s an awesome clip from Entourage that really demonstrates this. It’s when Ari convinces his wife to front $12 Million to buy a rival business.

  3. I wish I had access to this info this 4 years ago! I had to learn the hard way. Look at behaviors & words to see if they match up. If they don’t, get away quickly & look for a gal (friend, person) whose words & actions are trustworthy.  

  4. 23/M. 6 months into relationship with a girl. All good till 4 months. But now fights. Mostly because I sometimes feel neglected, like when sometimes she is very busy and doesn’t talk to me

    Fights are mostly because I sometimes feel neglected, like when she sometimes is very busy. I understand sometimes a person may be busy, but i assume it as she doesn’t care. Not her problem but mine. Then I pour my anger over her. After that I feel needy like asking her to talk to me, which makes me feel worse. Happened many times. She is a very nice girl and I dont want to lose her.
    Also I dont want to let her know that I am serious for her and not wanna lose her, because I think then she ll take me for granted and control me. Am I wrong ? In a nutshell I want to appear as a very robust (strong) type of man to her but actually I am very sensitive guy.

Speak Your Mind


Please leave these two fields as-is:

Protected by Invisible Defender. Showed 403 to 53,778 bad guys.