It’s Liz Leia, your inside woman, and I want to introduce you to my friend Chelsea. Chelsea is a talented writer, NLP trainer, and all around quality woman. Like me, she’s here to give you an “inside” guide to what women think, feel, and experience in dating and relationships.
So, without further ado, here’s Chelsea…
Hi there! I’m Chelsea, and I’m a Master Practitioner and Trainer of Hypnosis and NLP. If you’d like to learn more about who I am, please see my bio at the end of this article. I’m writing this to provide you with valuable insights about the unconscious things that women think, feel and experience in the dating world.
Along with being an expert in NLP, I think I’m also an expert in being turned on. This blog is for you if you’re wondering how to turn on a woman, your girlfriend, and/or your harem by sending sexy vibes!
What about I’m about to share with you is Reverse-PUA. You’re smart enough to know there are a lot of shady PUA techniques engineered for women to feel insecure and sleep with guys for validation. However, this concept is designed to make women feel more natural and comfortable so they’ll want to open up to you.
Let’s dive in with a story, then I’ll give you insights on why women respond to certain vibes in certain ways. Afterwards I’ll show you how to use that to your advantage.
First off, let’s clear up a myth going around:
Myth: You have to be tall, dark, and handsome to give sexy vibes.
That is NOT true. Women feel sexy vibes from a variety of different-looking guys – assuming he doesn’t look like he just got back from sleeping under a bridge. However, just being “hot” doesn’t cut it for quality women. (That might work for a one night stand, but nothing else – not even very, very casual dating or a 3-night stand.)
For example, a few weeks ago some hot guys approached me and my girlfriends at the bar. One of the guys was a model, and we got our picture taken by his friend. When the model saw the picture he said, “I look really bad in this. YOU look great, but I look bad.”
He was a great guy and I felt flattered… but the sexy vibes committed suicide.
a) I thought I couldn’t trust him. If people pay to take pictures of you then I’m sorry, but odds are you don’t look “really bad.”
b) I felt like he was insecure and needed my validation. That’s not something you should ask someone you just met, especially if you’re looking to hook up.
c) I felt like he thought I was “better” than him. Granted, *I* didn’t think I was better than him, he actually seemed pretty cool! But it made me think, “If you feel that bad about yourself, you’re probably not a very good lay.”
As a woman, I think one of the hottest things a man can do is to be comfortable with his own body.
I repeat: One of the sexiest things you can do is feel comfortable in your own skin.
Why is that so irresistible?
Because then we will naturally follow your lead and become comfortable with OUR body, which drives our sexy animal instincts.
This is good and bad.
The bad news is, if you’re uncomfortable with your body, then you will either lead us to:
a) Feel uncomfortable with ours too, or
b) Lose attraction for you. A quality woman will naturally feel uninterested in a man who can’t bring out her attractiveness.
The good news is that a man who’s comfortable in his body will constantly send great sex vibes, regardless of whether or not he’s doing something “sexy.”
How can you do that?
Start by becoming more self-aware. For example, my boyfriend pays close attention to his body. If he’s in pain, he might stretch for a bit. Even while playing videogames, he’ll sometimes pause to massage his neck. (Who knew you could send sexy vibes while killing Zombies?)
Also, I like that he’s attracted to my sexiness – not just looks – but my personality and intelligence too. (Yeah, being conceited rules.) This may seem like a no-brainer, but a lot of men have issues connecting with high quality women.
What do I mean by that?
Imagine there’s a guy (not you!) thinking about approaching a beautiful woman, but instead he’s thinking about all the different excuses (not reasons – excuses) of why he won’t. “I’m too shy…she’s out of my league… she’ll probably say no…” etc. When those insecurities get fired off one after another, that’s what I like to call an emotional loop.
Keep in mind, this is a great guy! Sure he has insecurities, but he’s a sexy being who would probably have women crawling all over him if he wasn’t so preoccupied.
If a woman notices him doing this, she’ll think he’s unapproachable. She’ll unconsciously pick up on his fear directed at her, and she’ll feel “on guard.” If he actually does approach her at this point, she’ll be turned off.
This is important. Women love feeling beautiful and free. When a woman knows you find her attractive, she’ll only feel excited if you feel attractive too! Remember, your goal is to become truly sexy so you can lead her toward feeling more beautiful and more turned on. That’s Reverse-PUA.
So where to start?
There are two basic ways to stop the loop and to start sending sexy vibes:
1) Change your emotional state and physiology.
2) Release your negative emotions and limiting decisions (that’s what we do in NLP coaching – release the issues behind the loop.)
Here’s a quick technique you can do to get out of your head and into your body. Try it now, just to get into the habit. Notice things like:
- How deeply are you breathing? Start breathing deeper to flow oxygen throughout your body.
- Are you sitting up straight or slouching? Sit up, then notice any tight spots in your body. Where are they? What can you do to relax those areas?
- Notice how those small changes give you more control over your body, your situation, and your life. If you’re near a beautiful woman, think about how much she needs a man like you while taking deep breaths and keeping your body under control.
Okay. Did you do it?
If you didn’t, go back and do it now.
Seriously, check in with your body all the time. This might sound stupid, but do it anyway. When women feel that you can own your body, they’ll feel like they can trust you, connect with you, and they’ll want to be with you. Don’t expect these questions to solve everything, but use them as a launching point to become more self-aware.
Knowing your body is the ultimate foundation for your life, and for every woman you’ll ever meet. The more effort you put into taking care of your body, the more women will think, “You would know how to take care of MY body.”