The True Source of Masculine Power

Most pick-up artists and dating coaches will put the fear of God in you about showing any interest in a woman (As in: Don’t ever compliment her, ever, ever, ever! Let pigs fly and hell freeze over before you ever so subtly even hint to a woman that you might possibly find her attractive, for if you do, you shall spend eternity lonely and horny! Beware…muhaha!)

Ugh, pick-up artists can be such drama queens. 🙂

The myth is that if you compliment a woman (or show interest in some way) then you are giving away your power. Look, if it’s that easy for you to “give your power away” then I have some bad news for you: you didn’t have any power to begin with.

The most powerful men I know will compliment people—not just beautiful women, but all people—as much as they want to, and guess what happens? They get more powerful because they are making everyone around them feel better about themselves too.

If you’re skeptical about that idea, then here’s a question for you to consider:  Where does your power come from?

Yes, there are women out there who get off by dissing the guys who compliment them. I would also never suggest that compliments will attract all women.

The reason why I believe in complimenting women is so that you can weed out the insecure women and find those mature, solid women among the masses. Compliments attract women who are more stable and repel women who will bring the drama. If you go this route, you will undoubtedly encounter women who will diss you in the process.

But regardless of whether a woman disses your compliment or accepts it graciously, she is not the keeper of your power. You are.

Think about a porch light. When that light is on, it shines brightly regardless of how many moths are there to bask in that light. Same with you: when you are tapped into your true source of masculine power, it’s on whether the women are flocking to you or not.

Believing that you are giving away your power when a woman doesn’t respond to you the way you want her to is like believing that a moth takes the light with it when it flies away from the porch.

Now, something I constantly hear from men is that there is often a sense of shame around going after what you want; that men don’t like to feel bad for bringing masculine energy.

Unfortunately, right now we have an overload of information and most of the media will subtly undermine women who are too feminine and men who are too masculine. I don’t know why that’s the case, but I’ve noticed it too, ok? 🙂

What this means is that there are women out there who are afraid to want what they want. Women who believe they “should be smarter, saner, more mature, more evolved, more balanced…” or in some other way above their craving for the masculine.

In other words, these women are the ones feeling the shame and they are projecting it onto you rather than owning it for themselves. This is all happening very unconsciously, by the way, so pointing it out will just bring probably just bring more resistance.

That’s why it’s really important to remember that you are the light, and these women are the moths, and your power is present no matter how the moths react to it. Because then the various ways in which women project their insecurities onto you won’t affect you.

Another note on masculine power: true masculinity doesn’t give a flying fuck how other people react. Now in the real world, there is such a thing as balance, but if you were to distill pure masculine energy into a bottle, shame, approval seeking, validation seeking, and guilt would not exist inside that bottle.

By the way, in the real world, you still need to respect when a woman turns you down, but you do NOT need to feel ashamed for wanting her. There is no shame in wanting a woman, even if she doesn’t want you back. When you know that inside and out, that’s masculine power. That’s when the porch light shines no matter who’s around to see it.

So how do you tap into your masculine power? By getting in touch with your purpose. Your purpose is not to attract women. Yes, that’s important too; nobody’s suggesting you om your life away in a monastery. But your purpose on this planet is not to attract a woman—not even “the one.”

Your purpose in life is also not your career. Your career might be your way of acting it out in the world, but your purpose is your deepest desire to serve humanity in some way, whether it’s through cleaning teeth, doing taxes, or teaching yoga.

Again, remember the porch light. The porch light’s purpose is not to attract moths; it’s to light up the porch. When the moths see that light, they show up. Same with you: when you are on purpose and you light up the world through your service to humanity, women will be drawn to that.

Your Inside Woman,

Liz Leia


  1. Hi Liz,

    Thanks for the thoughts, and the porchlight analogy. The only issue I see is that when a man approaches, isn't he doing more than just 'letting his light shine' he's actually kind of shining a spot beam directly at the moth, trying to reel it in.

  2. Just a comment, in your post you talk about masculinity being a certain mental state, but the accompanying picture is a huge ripped guy flexing his muscles. It’s a small point, but could put off some guys [like me] that don’t look like that.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Good point. The image is more of a visual representation of an idea, as in,
    there is power generated when a man flexes his muscles. There is also power
    generated anytime a man flexes any kind of masculinity. That’s the
    point–you don’t need to physically possess those muscles in order to send
    out that kind of powerful vibe.

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