What to do for Valentine’s Day

Hey there,

It’s Liz Leia, your inside woman, and I’m excited to post this article from Chelsea on how to give a special Valentine’s day gift. You can apply these gift giving principles to birthdays and other holidays too! Enjoy…

Dear men,

Valentine’s Day is on Monday.

You’re welcome. 🙂

This is the day men and women alike celebrate the day St. Valentine was beaten to death and beheaded.

February 14th has been a day of anxiety for men ever since.

As a result, companies such as Hallmark, Tiffany’s, and Russell Stover sell romantic items to benefit The St. Valentine Foundation themselves.

Don’t get me wrong – I actually love this holiday. But thanks to the majority of wealth being unevenly distributed toward companies with super-ultra-mass marketing campaigns, there’s a difference between what a lot of men feel like they’re  “supposed to do” VS what they actually feel like doing on Valentine’s Day.

So why would you want to celebrate it anyway?

Because it’s important to us women.

Let’s not focus on why it’s important…just know that it is. Even if your woman shares the opinion that it’s all ridiculously commercial, the fact is she’s still a woman and doesn’t want you to do NOTHING. Even if she hasn’t made any hints or talked about wanting to celebrate… she’s still hoping you’ll do something romantic.

But what do you do for her?

You’ll find this blog useful if you’re wondering how to have fun on Valentine’s Day instead of feeling like it’s a contrived obligation. I’m going to share with you how to come up with a great V-day gift that she will love MORE than the cliché flowers, chocolates, and jewelry etc.

This article is all about the significance of giving with significance.

To start, the gift that you’ll want to give her depends on your woman’s desires. So if she’s been hinting all year long that she would love some jewelry… don’t sign her up for pole dancing lessons.

Whether a woman wants chocolate, clothes, a romantic night out on February 14th… what she’s really looking for are those feelings of love and desire.

I came up with inspiration to write this because, I’m excited to announce, I recently got engaged. Hooray for Chelsea! (And no, I’m not telling you this to put crazy ideas into your head of what an appropriate thing to do on Valentine’s Day is. 😉 )

The story I’m about to share with you will give you insight into what’s going on in a woman’s mind, and how to give her something that’s special and really meaningful to both of you.

While we were looking for engagement rings, something about the shopping trips didn’t feel quite right.

My fiancé could tell, and then he thought of an amazing idea.

He noticed my body hadn’t totally healed from a shoulder injury I got a while ago. Lately we were talking about me trying ART (Active Release Techniques) – which is deep tissue massage you can use on certain injuries to get your full range of motion back.

He knew that if he got me a diamond ring right now, we probably wouldn’t be able to afford a series of ART sessions for another good few months. So he thought, “What would she rather have – an expensive ring … or a fully healed shoulder?”

Yeah… I got the massages instead of diamonds. 😀

This is big – because I’m quite the visual girly girl who likes romantic traditions. But after he brought it up, I could no longer stand thinking about how my shoulder was going to continue being injured so we can pay some business guy who’s “employed” all these African slave kids mining diamonds – which aren’t even the prettiest stones out there – so he can have more money he doesn’t really need while my shoulder continues to suck.

This week I completed my 4th ART session, and I’m feeling all sorts of loved and sexy.

Those feelings are what your woman wants.

This year, use Valentine’s Day to have fun and to show her how much you appreciate and care for her. Do whatever it is that will give both of you the feelings of love, desire, happiness… whether that’s jewelry or going to an arcade or something different that’s creative and unique to your relationship.

Feeling stuck? Here are some questions that will spark creative, romantic ideas:

 

  1. Is there an inside joke you guys share? Try typing that joke into Google search/images – it’s amazing what you’ll come up with!  Example: My fiancé really loves the game Portal, so one year for his birthday I made him a cake that looks like the Portal cake (minus the fish shaped solid waste and sediment shaped sediment)
  2. Have you noticed her talking about really wanting something? She’s probably dropped some hints about things she would love to have. Have you gone to the mall recently and heard her say something like, “Oooh that scarf is so cute!” Or, “I’m really interested in this book” or “I’ve been needing to finish this project (cleaning the house, etc) but I haven’t had the time.” (Hint: If you’re really stuck you can ask her friends or even look at things she’s posted on Facebook.)
  3. Have you two spent quality time together recently? Think back to the last time you two were hanging out and it felt like nothing else in the world mattered. You guys felt connected and completely focused on each other. If it’s been a while since that happened, make an effort to push aside whatever has been stopping you from connecting with her, and make the night about just you two – whatever you guys end up doing.

Remember, the most important thing you can do on Valentine’s Day is to have a fun, loving time together and to give with significance.

Rockin’ the cubic z,

Chelsea

Comments

  1. I agree with everything you said. The holiday, if celebrated, should be personalized. Not just doing some stock thing like buying roses or whatever.

    • Right on! Personalized gifts are the best.

      That reminds me, I once dated a guy who ran to and back from a gas station before I arrived at his place just so he could give me a rose on Valentine’s Day. I actually really appreciated the love & effort behind an otherwise cliché gift. It’s the difference between personalized giving VS “just flowers.” 🙂

      • Right – I also think it becomes problematic when *TOO* much weight is put on the holiday however. Lets say he wasn’t able to pick up the rose? Would you have de-valued him in any way?

        I had a girl break up with me (and this is no joke) she actually called into question that I didn’t give her a *rose* specifically (I had gotten her a card instead)

        • To answer your question… no. 🙂 The rose was really meaningful to me not because it was a rose, but because of the thought and effort behind it. There are a number of things guys can do to express love and appreciation – the rose was just the way he felt like expressing it.

          But a girl broke up with you for giving her a card instead? Damn. My guess is she was either too shallow to be in a relationship with you, or it wasn’t that great of a relationship in the first place. Either way, you’re better off alone than with someone who doesn’t appreciate you.

  2. Chelsea, I do have some comments and if you care to comment that is fine and if not, that is also fine.
    why do men and women need one particular day of the year as designated by history and folklore, with the undefined purpose of celebrating Connection. I in particular dont acknowledge this date. I see in the commercial arenas, tons of bloated red and canndied props that are supposed to convey our intended passions and desires for our love one. My issue is this. If everyday, Me as a guy, is not intentionally celebrating each day with her as a Valentine, with my male presence and my truth and pure authenticity, then FTF is some predetermined date on a calender going to momentarily alter those feelings? We all have “anchored” feelings to this date. But whom did that? Us?
    Curious in Ca.

    • I think you make a great point, and I find it interesting that most people
      single out V-day to play the “why do I need a special day if I do this every
      day?” card. Yes, of course we should be connecting and celebrating love
      every day of the year…

      We should also be grateful for everything we have every day of the year, but
      does that mean we shouldn’t have Thanksgiving? Why shoot off fireworks only
      on Independence day–shouldn’t we be proud and patriotic every day
      (regardless of how you feel about your home country, it’s your home)? Behind
      any holiday, religious or not, you will find an “intention” that could, and
      probably should, be appreciated, if not celebrated, every day.

      Valentine’s Day is a holiday, like any other. You can spend it being
      philosophically superior by “not buying into it” or you can spend it
      celebrating and having fun! I prefer the latter…:-)

      • “Valentine’s Day is a holiday, like any other. You can spend it being
        philosophically superior by “not buying into it” or you can spend it
        celebrating and having fun! I prefer the latter…:-)”

        Hi Liz,

        I think the issue is not so much that it’s a holiday, is the imbalance of it all. Imagine if Thanksgiving all the short people of the family had to serve the tall people. or if on independence day all the people with long noses had to do all the event planning and firework shooting and the people with wider noses got to sit back and enjoy everything.. I’m being arbitrary here, but I think the point is clear. And of course I understand no one “has” to do anything, but we should be honest and acknowledge societal/commercial influences.

        I was talking to one of my guy friends and was expressing my distaste for Valentines day- he said “with guys it isn’t a matter of if you dislike V-day, it’s a matter of how much.”

        • Wait, you mean the women don’t also have to do something nice for their
          boyfriends?! Geez, I could’ve saved so much money if I knew Valentine’s was
          a one-sided thing! 🙂

          When I said something to have fun, celebrate, and share, I meant
          share–you’re both doing nice things for each other, exchanging gifts, or
          sharing an experience. I know there are lots of women out there who don’t do
          jack and expect their boyfriends to do it all–those women are missing the
          point (and frankly, missing out on all the fun!).

          • Oh, ok, then it’s a fair comparison. although I think you’ll agree that the pressure for men to deliver on that particular day is larger?

          • Well, it’s up to each couple to decide what’s “fair” for them.
            Maybe more guys should throw a fit when they don’t get a V-day gift! 🙂

          • Hmmm.. sorry, I can’t tell, is that at serious or facetious suggestion? I think most women would have a pretty confused look if a guy said to them, “I really wish you’d get me something on valentine’s day – you know, the way I got you something?”

          • Yes, I’m serious–if guys want the day to be shared and celebrated equally,
            they should speak up!

    • Hi Conrad,

      I agree with you. Maybe you’re way better at this than I am, but I’ve never had a woman that I managed to “intentionally celebrate each day with as a valentine.” I’ve tried…

      Personally. I’m going to swallow my hatred of stupid red, heart shaped boxes and use a very powerful anchor (reinforced by thousands of shameless marketing ploys). After all, this is for her. And she loves chocolate.
      The Math: Woman + Chocolate = Happy Woman.

    • Hi there Conrad,

      Of course I’ll comment – I was really hoping this blog would inspire intellectual thoughts and conversation. Thanks for posting!

      I agree with you. If you’re going to be with someone, then be with her fully and completely. And if you do that, your Valentine’s Day will be full of love and closeness, even if you choose not to acknowledge V-Day over any other day. As Liz said, just because it’s over-commercialized doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.

      Besides, why waste the chance to utilize a very powerful anchor?

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