One of the funniest things I’ve realized is that, back when I was single, I would use that as an excuse to feel miserable. Even though dating multiple people was exciting, deep down I felt lonely waiting for *the one.* Now that I have him, I miss certain aspects of being single (like the independence it offers).
This mentality comes from a lot of different areas. Sometimes it seems like society conditions us to feel certain things about our relationship status, so it’s not always easy to take responsibility for how we feel.
(Ex: being “single” has connotations of being incomplete if you compare it to the togetherness of people who are “attached” or act like a “ball and chain.”)
No, the point of this article is not “You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t.”
I’m bringing this up because I know I’m not the only one who has gone through this “grass is always greener” mentality.
Feeling this way, especially so close to a major holiday about being thankful (in that grudgingly cliché kind of way,) brought me back to this core principle:
If you are truly unhappy, then deal with it. Don’t ignore it. Don’t cover it up with affirmations. Learn from it and enjoy life!
Thinking about all the things you *don’t have* can start the learning process (it’s certainly been one of my bad habits!). The flip side, and potentially more important side if you’re stuck in this habit, is to start out with what you’re actually thankful for.
Things will never be perfect or complete. Yes, you can always find something to improve. But if that’s all you ever focus on, then you will forget to enjoy what is already just the way you want it.
I mean… at least no one is pillaging your house trying to steal your land and your daughters. That’s a good place to start, right?
Gratitude is noticing what you already have that you want, and that you already have what you want.